Like a tranquilizer.

2012-02-27T16:29:00.003+08:00

Wondering why would I always met so many irrelevant people... They pretend to get close with me for their own individual yet typical motives, but bitch about me behind my back. Feeling disgusted on how they even regard me as "Sister". Wth seriously.

Oh well, shall stop it.

Will be going to fareast in a few hours time for job interview. After that will be heading to Batok to takecare of my stupid boy. hehehe^^

2012-01-27T00:40:00.003+08:00

Lies and lies and full of lies and deceiving.

Why whatever I try to do, is always not good enough to you?

Whatever I have sacrifices, I still get nothing in the end?

Go out earn money, and yet this is what I always get in the end..

With Love.

2011-11-23T02:11:00.001+08:00

You bought Bearbear for me as a surprise. <3
Just transfer all these photos to com, and I recalled, I am so love by you.

It's more than just meeting eyes.

2011-11-22T20:31:00.001+08:00

Haven't been blogging for ages. Everyday seems like the same without a job. Why do we always quarrel over the same issue over and over again? Is it that "The more a person change, the more they stays the same." really does implies in this life? Been asking myself a lot of times. I'm clueless about what to do.
When a person lied to you once, there will be a second time. When a person persist not lying for once and got caught, for a second attempt that person will be more persist and not confess.
I was getting sure that I was your everything, apart of your life that you can never leave or ignore. I thought you had learnt to change for the better. I did felt happiness from you again after a long while. But today, I found out that nothing had changed. Everything is still the same. You're still the same old you who will never learnt to commit in a relationship, not even to me. You will still take break up and say. Never thought you will be doing all these to me. After what I've say today, I know you won't bother. I know you won't care. I know you had already removed me from your life. I know you are all ready for these, today. But I'm not. I'm not ready to leave you. I still want you to stay with me. Because all along the only thing that I have prepare today is to wait for you while you're in db. To keep loving you while you're in db. Even you say this is not love. But I will insist tell you this, What I do, this may not be any love to you. But it is my form of love for you. I love you more than anything. You are all I ever wanted.

220810. 8:30pm.

I hate the background.

2011-10-13T01:18:00.001+08:00

Hate the background. Ignore it. It's fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffugly.

Damn tired of myself, damn tired of everything.

Mom was right about we're not compatible.

That girl, Mandy was right about a person can change within a day.

I don't need a cbk in my life. I need a good boyfriend.

Those times when you say break up with me, I keep tell myself, one day enough is enough. I will give up.

Now I am. Be it whether you're the winner or I am loser, idgaf.

Ah! Yesterday 12/10, went to meet Mingzhou, Louis and Ben @ H&M. Help Mingzhou choose a few tops and we go Cine. Afterwards to Anchor point to tabao kfc w/mz > mz's house to eat. Can really die climbing up the staircase to Rumah tinggi. Played with the kitty, soooo cute! If it has more ba, he confirm more cute <3
Lastly, ....
.
.
.
.
.
I hate the background.

2011-10-06T17:34:00.000+08:00

All the overdue photos.
Monday - met Wendy for dinner at westmall, then went to Dear's camp and pass him his stuffs.
Tuesday - stayed at home the whole day.
Wednesday - which is yesterday. At first decided to go Bugis, but Mz la. Pig, keep on sleep and sleep. Had kfc with Mz and Jared, then after that homed.

TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! CUTE TTM!

Yesterday just get to know that it's a male.__.

I believe I had compromised enough. You're the one that like to step over my head. You had already made everything the last, what's the point for me to look back?

Think properly. Trust is earned, not magically give it to you and let you destroy it again and again.

2011-09-30T23:28:00.001+08:00

I want to upload photos.. but I'm lazy to transfer photos from my iphone. I mean, I'm so lazy to plug in the cable la. Hate to do the procedure and all >:( Shall upload photos next time depending on my mood.

Wednesday, meet up with Janine early in the morning to breakfast. Had her to accompany me all the way till 5pm, been watching "Breastly" and "Hancock" at Janine's house, then after that I went for an hour nap while Janine plays her rockband alone :x We had our 3 meals at redhill market on that day, lol! Then after we bought for each and ourselves a pancake - Janine is chocolates flavor and mine is peanut butter, we slacked awhile at the void-deck and off I went to meet Mingzhou and Jared. Helped Jared to choose a birthday card for his girlfriend's birthday, after that blah blahh blahhh blahhhh... I lazy to elaborate so much k. So we all go Mz's house and I SAW THE KITTEN!!!!!! OMFG, IT'S FUCKING CUTE!!!!! IT KEEP RUNNING ONCE IT'S RELEASED FROM IT CAGE!!!! Forget to mention, Janine also owned 2 cats. Her female cat always very paranoid and her male cat are shy/afraid of stranger - P.S: HE WILL DIAO ME ONE SIA!!! But still cute ^^
At the end of the day, Jared and Mingzhou send me to bus stop to take bus home.

Thursday, met Lokman to collect my pay. Had a little bit of argument at first but we're alright after talking things out. Lost my way to Durty Nelly, and had troubled Lokman to walk all the way to Marina square to fetch me. hehehe. After not long, Wendy came over to find me at there too! But soon, me and Wendy left to Bugis and had dinner at pastamania. Chatted a lot with her until my last bus came, felt better after sharing so much things with her. :>

As for today, I stayed at home all the way playing my sim3! lol

2011-09-27T02:57:00.000+08:00

Just read my past, very past and hidden blog posts.
Very nostalgic. It makes me have second thoughts about everything..

If I'm were to learn something from you, I'll choose to live stronger after you're gone.

2011-09-27T01:55:00.000+08:00

Had finally meet my two Brothers - Haoran and Joshua at Holland. Miss the air of Holland so damn effing much! If only Jared was there too.. All the way, slack around and listening to Haoran talking about his current model life. He kept telling me that the world is big and... shall not elaborate much. Sigh, miss those old times very much. I miss the old self very much too. I hate the way I am now..
Today, someone finally approach me after saying nasty things behind my back. Magically, I'm not affected by the words that person says. I have better things to do, no time to entertain you ah. Another one of the kind, sigh.
I'm really puzzled, don't know what should I do really.. All I know, only you understands me the most. Only you can feel how I feel the most. But after you're gone what will things be like? Right now, the current situation we're in are way different from you had expected, so do I. I'm doing my best to give you the best I can. I want you to feel the most perfect love you can have. But it seems that I'm failing my attempts. Slowly I can see that his answers on break ups is getting firmer and slowly I'm watching him walking away from me soon.
We both say we love one another, but yet we both couldn't feel one another's love. We both seems to think that the more we treat one another good, the more we will take one another for granted. I say that we seems to have lost of ways to love another.
I'm sorry, TingJie. We could not get anymore better.

Chasing Pavements.

2011-09-25T17:28:00.002+08:00

I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further
This ain't lust, I know this is love

But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough
'Cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

I build myself up and fly around in circles
Wait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

By Adele.

2011-09-20T15:32:00.003+08:00

Everything seems so one-sided. All I asked for, is you to come fetch me from bus stop, is it a lot to ask for? Just because there's better transport which could sent you to Westmall, and someone treating to a restaurant does that means you can go against on what you had keen to agree with me? There's always a choice for every decisions. What did you choose for your first and important priority? I felt being neglected badly. Ever since Friday, you had changed the way you treat me. You're not the same as before. I had became nothing in your eyes. Nothing special and a disgraced to you who doesn't worth to be chosen over ego for.

2011-09-17T22:09:00.000+08:00

I don't understand. Within barely just a day you had changed so much.. Words can come out of your mouth so easily as though it's your true feelings. You can even forget about me so perfectly. It seems like you will never learnt to spare a thought for me. All the way is your friends who had been picking up the phone calls for you. Busy can't be an excuse for not answering my calls and texts. If you so want to ignore me that much, then so be it. It's hopeless no matter how much I yearn for your care and love since you're so reluctant to give. I'm sick and tired of not being cherish and treasured, and being unappreciated. Your attention not on me anyway, therefore I'm taking away on what I had given to you. I'm tired of fighting all the way just to be your first priority. So much hope is slipping down to the drain and you can't be bothered to catch it. Do I really have to expect only the depth of the lowest from you? Sigh, you got your friends is enough.
A sorry is just word if you continuously making the same mistakes all over again without fail.

2011-09-16T19:54:00.001+08:00

Feeling so damn heartache for him. I thought you would give in all the best for the time as long as he's around, but you choose to thrown us aside.

Do you really aware of a situation like this?
What I want isn't money from you. I want to see your responsibility rate is it worth being together for our future or not.. I really want to depend on you as much as I need you.

Told Audrey, Weijie and Wendy. I'll be meeting Wendy later.

2011-09-16T19:05:00.000+08:00

Can't believe I'm blogging here in regarding about you.. My dear, it's my fault. I stress you too much. I put in too much hope on you too much. I thought you would be more mature than before, but never thought you would leave me at a time like this. You say you couldn't stand my attitude and my accusations. I hate you and I hate myself a lot.

Mom keeps telling me to give up on you and don't look back for you can leave me now without any responsibilities being made. What am I to you? A girl who wears a tag only? All along I had never wanted to show my princess attitude to you, I just want you to know that I don't want to be treated like a second priorities and keep hearing you saying you're tired of me, I don't want this. I also don't want to get thrown aside like a trash. I don't want you to be the same as some people. All I wanted is you to be a man that my parents can be trust on and I can depended on, not the other way round..

I know, I always never learn after saying so much hurtful words to you. I know, I can't because I loved you too strongly. I know, it's my fault for saying you till so useless. I'm really sorry.. Because at a point like this, you still can continue and make me feel even more insecure when I needed you the most. You say that I'm the only one you loved when you doesn't even share with me about your feelings, you would rather share with your pig dog friends.

2011-08-28T00:30:00.003+08:00

Hey, I'm back to this blog. Nothing to elaborate anyway. Only work and relationship. Friendship don't say already. REALLY NO COMMENT ABOUT IT. All I can say is presumption, fyi.

Was really hoping that you will hold onto me like before, let me stay in your heart forever. But in actual fact, nothing stays the same.

Friends comes and go. Same goes to love, I suppose.

Learning to live half-alive.

2011-08-13T01:35:00.007+08:00

Ugly face needs a new foundations.

Been working on the pass Mon - Fri (Counted as yesterday already.)

Had 3 days of H2H talk with Jinger, which is on Tuesday, Wednesday and yesterday <:

Nails cracked till damn jialat. Look like eeer-gleeee saisai nails now.

How time drained away and lost forever.

2011-08-13T00:37:00.027+08:00

I'm here to rant things out, if not I will never feel better.. I had enough of keeping it to myself or sharing it with you, yet you doesn't understand. Well, this blog is still useful after all. It's the fifth day you're not around. Missing you...

The photos of you and me together brings a smile upon my face. But when I looked up and face the reality, it sadden my whole heart.

I know that throughout this going 1 year relationship has tough decisions when we have to give in and wanted to give up after so many ugly truths that I had found out. But surprisingly we both able to give in because of love and give up everything for love...? This, I'm ain't sure about your side point of view.

I hate it when you always give that beautiful lies and it turns out to be an ugly truth. I rather learn to accept the truth than being lied to. You can made up lies to me, I don't see that I am important to you.

Love blinded me to forgive you so much, but yet unseen scars are still there hurting me, causing my tears to drop whenever flashback came to visit my mind.

It is the love that had merged with pain, causes this changes in me.

I'd neglected myself too much, and I know that I won't be the same anymore.

Things I've tried to give in, I don't understand why you couldn't notice it. I know I have my flaws, same goes to you. Although I always get ridiculously jealous, it's all because I was insecure at first, and now I am very insecure eversince I saw that convo.

The first 2 months of our relationship already makes me feel that this relationship was nothing but I still can take the first blow. But as time goes down to the 9th months, it immediately tells me that this is a meaningless relationship. I don't find that this is love... Faithful and trust is the key to love, but both of us does not obtain one of these. I couldn't trust and you couldn't be faithful.

At times I struggled so hard to get myself believe you, but all I get is disappointments like empty promises, plain old words, lies and happenings left unchanged.

I've been questioning myself umpteen times.

'Is it really I'm the one to be blamed for being unable?'

'Why am I trying so hard when you tried so little?'

'Why do I always get so many shits from you when I gave my best to you?'

'Why you always have to give me so much disappointments when I'm having high expectations from you?'

We screwed up everything.

The upcoming 1 year anniversary, I doubt that it will be something memorable.

2011-08-04T01:17:00.002+08:00

守在你身边看你每一个笑脸笑得那么甜是他给了你誓言

不敢有埋怨都是我心甘情愿或许有一天我的爱你能看见

一天一点你渐渐走远我却像空气被忽略

只怪我的爱不够勇敢一直沉默的作你的依赖

让一切石沉大海

过去的一切该怎么放开?

2011-08-03T23:40:00.012+08:00

This feeling of losing you, I can never describe it with words.

After today, I finally realize that I was never a part of your priorities, nor do I belong to any priorities in your heart.

You were able to go until so far and cruel to me, and if you love me, you won't. Is it because we had no status for the pass one month plus?

I had cried hard enough, whined loud enough, and being hurt pain enough. Yet what else I can do, when you doesn't seems to be holding back at all? Y'know, you can't just force all the blames on me because I'm not the only one whose at fault. You say you got your limits, then I don't? You are human, am I not? You say that I'm being ridiculous for not being understanding and assumed you. Yet you lied to me and you expected me to trust you with your lies again and again? Sigh. You'll never get your facts right. You just keep lying and lying, knowing that I'll be stupid enough to listen.

To be frank, all these are becoming like a burden to me, and I can't withstand it anymore. There are number of times I had given in to you, and you took it for granted. You'll never know you are the source of the quarrel. You'll never learn to be honest with me but rather create many reasons for me not to trust you.

What's done is done, what's gone is gone. You had hurt me badly enough with your lies. Even if things were to get back right, the wounds won't be able to mend so fast cause we won't be the same anymore. In fact, I doubt you will turn up tomorrow.

2011-07-10T02:31:00.003+08:00

I was in my foolish love. Like a one sided love, then another one is having two sided love.

2011-06-24T12:18:00.007+08:00

Long awaiting!!! Been so lazy to think of blogging. Lately, Dear MC-ed 2week+

He got his blood taken out for tests, injections and iv inserts. Heartsore like hell, but I say he 活该!

Today FRIDAY! Dear gonna bookout but yet might not because of his charge, I hope the charge will be cancelled. Sigh :(

And my whole working schedule being screwed up! Awhile helped Eric do his modelling and another while worked as promoter. I need to find a full-time job!

Wednesday, we had a sucky start of our 10th Month Anniversary and a lovely end of our 10th Month Anniversary. 22O81O83O♥;

Deardear, recently we had so much to quarrel about, but I believe it draw us nearer. Thank you for always picking up my mistakes again and again without fail. Both our attitude sucks, but you sucks more.

I love you wholeheartedly, my Dear. Every time I got embraced by you, I'm overwhelmed by your love. Even those scars and hurts you'd given me, it heals.

I know you'll be hopping onto my blog again and notice, 'Hey, it's alive for once again!'

2011-06-01T09:41:00.003+08:00

Whenever I'm at my worst, you always never fail to scold me but you failed to comfort me.

I know I'm to naive to think that those treat me good is true friends, and that's dumb enough. Friends comes and go and I know who is staying, who is leaving...

Sometimes the memories, are worth the pain.

2011-05-09T20:23:00.002+08:00

Even though we can’t be holding hands right now, even though we can’t be looking each other in the eyes right now, I can feel it in my heart. The thing that I can do is that I can pray. Just because I said I am not there with you doesn’t mean that I can’t be there with you.

No matter when it is, we are always together.”

-Minzy, Twitter

2011-05-05T10:19:00.004+08:00

Feel like wear my specs when I go out...

Shall meet Gina later ♥

Hope Deardear today will win his competition. Goodluck..

I want hug him real badly, after all those hurting words we've gave one another. The pain of leaving you is unbearable, and I know I hurts you alot. You still kept everything silence to your heart, not wanting to spill it out. Or maybe you did, but this 8months, I've been giving you tough pains and I treated your sincerity like shit. Out of knowing, I mistreated you. Maybe it's true that I hardly tells my true feeling to anyone, including you. Everything that I'd told everyone is just a mere complains. In actual fact, I'm the one that keeps everything locks on. I love you way too much that I fear you'll leave me. I got angry at you, jealous, sad is all because I fear and this fear makes my self-esteem gone low. It's hurts that I got look down by you. It's hurts when I know I'm not good enough for you. Then I realized, I was never up to your expectations at all.. All I can only say my self-esteem still fucking hurts a lot. I'm so lost...

2011-05-04T14:39:00.006+08:00

Loving you is wonderful. But it gives tormenting pain at the end.

Everything goes down with my low self-esteem.

You always transform quarrels into something I can smile.

2011-04-20T11:23:00.004+08:00

I did it again. I didn't do my part well as a girlfriend to trust you. Instead, I trusted other's words and let myself getting influenced. But after I found out the truth, I started to feel guilty. I was never good with words, and I know it's not words that can mend those hurts that I'd given you. All in all, you still forgiven me. You even transform quarrels into something I can smile at. You're special in your way, even though at the middle of way, you'll still get hurt. Yet all these doesn't matter to you, as long as you could use all your effort make me smile again.

I Love You, My Dearest Favorite Boy.

Don't say we're not meant to be together again.

2011-04-06T11:47:00.008+08:00

Yesterday, Jared took my wallet. He opened it up. The moment he sees my i/c he start singing 'She's a monster, beautiful monster.' LMAO.

Deardear yesterday keep on jealous, angry, jealous, sad,

and he jealousjealousjealousjealous. Hrmph!

Edited -

I stayed at home the whole again, today. Not really, went down to market and brought Happo with me. Cute okay! So what, 17yearsold cannot bring a soft toy down mea? Then went home and grow mushrooms :/ Now texting with Deardear. I miss him alotalot + so much. How I wish tomorrow is Friday. Reality is so cruel. :(

2011-04-05T11:51:00.009+08:00

I realized that I got confident to design a house in Sim3 but no confident to take up the interior designer job in reality. Fml seriously.

Later am going to mz's house.

But before I go to his house I want to faster...

Finish reading those new comics that I had found at my Sister's cupboard.
Finish building a house for my Sims in Sim3. Because I got a perfect design.
Check whether my pay are in or not @atm machine.
Return/Transfer Stupid Simon money.
Go mz's house.
Print my O's level registration form.

And let Jared and Mz to think of where to go or what to do next later.

Ought to wait for Deardear's office hour to faster finish! Pray that he won't get any confinement. I pray, I pray, I pray. SIGH. I MISS HIM LAH!

2011-04-04T18:20:00.009+08:00

At home all day today and I'm still missing my Deardear a lot.

Yesterday, early morning 8am plus reached Deardear's house. He tabao breakfast for me before coming back home from ph, sweet him. Then sleep and I woke up first because his mother is super noisy. :/ At 5pm, call Deardear wake up and accompany him go salon for his haircut. Back to his home for dinner, and waited for him to changed and send him till bus stop only that day. :(

Saturday, waited at home all the way for Deardear finished chushi then go down Batok and meet him. Dress nicenice go down somemore, thought he's gonna bring me go out but never. He's make it up to me on his next book out <3 Then, he went to ph and I go home.

Friday, April's fool. Deardear book out day! Went to jp to meet him and we go home. Then we meet Juju, accompany her for dinner.

Thursday, met Jared and Mingzhou, so long meet. They make me laughed si liao!

To My Best Boyfriend In The World;

2011-03-22T21:42:00.005+08:00

You brighten up every single day of my life. I don't have to fake a big smile with you around. You're my love.

In fact, times when we quarrel are ain't that bad at all. We still hug each another and smile in the end. When one is about to leave, one will hold on and won't let go. At point of time, it really makes feel that you care and I was not neglected. With just a simple smile from you, all those unhappiness that I had clutched inside my heart, you make it disappeared. All these months together, you had never fail to be by my side when I need you. It's hard for this feeling to fade.

Happy 7th Month Anniversary!

My Dearest ShaSha, I Love You ♥

♥ 22O81O83O ♥

We Are Meant To Be Together.

2011-03-17T16:29:00.001+08:00

Hey Dear, I miss you damn badly.

I still want to love you even more.

2011-03-15T22:42:00.012+08:00

Today I woke up early in the morning 6am to meet Deardear at his house and sent him to his camp. Very bu she de. I'm missing him very badly now! But he go in ns to become a man and I'll be thankful if ns will help him cure his 'public nuisance' habit. LOL. I just got back from Juju's house. Before and after we sent my Deardear go in army, we went to chinesegarden, waited for her friend and we go Deardear's house and take Happo and that's how I was landed at Juju's house!

Surprisingly that I blogged again. Feeling temperamental right now. All kinds of emotions struck and mixed around me at once. But Deardear just called me and it turns my mood so happy! And Chou Deardear make me promised him that I'll stay at home tomorrow. Won't go out, won't go out only mah. :x

LOOK AT IT CAREFULLY.

2011-02-21T01:13:00.003+08:00

Left is Deardear. So right is definitely me!

He's the monkey. I'm the Zebra.

He got red pigu! Heeheehee ♥

Your love is worth too much to lose.

2011-02-21T00:18:00.016+08:00

Recently had a lot of fun with Deardear and friends. Even though I'm still jobless. Me and Shena had planned to search for job together already okay! I spend almost whole of my weeks time accompany Deardear chushi and a day to accompany Deardear's mama go hospital. Including outings with Hoehoe and Joanne at Cine to catch a midnight movie - Just go for it. and especially, Woodlands waterfront!
Since it had pass midnight now, so is yesterday, I only slept less than 2hour and off to meet Deardear at his house. We went to ZOOOOOOOOOOO with Deardear, Esther, Wayne and his friends. Though before we reached Zoo, we had a little quarrel but after awhile we're okay already :> After that, all the way Deardear had been self-entertaining himself with lame retarded jokes (:x) , cause he's lack of sleep. Oh, especially the moment Deardear had stepped into Zoo, he had become a crazy Baboon. Kept on run here and there, and ps me. Deardear, HRMPHHHHHH! We visited Baboons, Penguins, Hippo, White Tigers and a lot a lot! And Deardear kept on disiao almost all the animals in the Zoo. Blessed that he'll kena chase by all of them, when the Zoo got breakout. LOL. Afterwards, we went to Redhill > Vivo. That is where I had accidentally burned until Deardear's neck >:

Alright, that's all! I still have wake up kinda early to meet this lonely LaoGao. ♥♥♥

13 February 2011.
Happy Birthday to DearDear.
Happy Birthday to Happo.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EDWIND LIM JIA JIE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! ♥
(Belated though.)

Deardear, you're a LaoDaBian le. Must love me more more as you grow older!
Thanks for always give in to me when I'm being selfish and not being understanding.
I♥YOU

Happy Valentines' Day too.

(Belated though.)

It's just a small wish.

2011-02-09T22:13:00.005+08:00

Deardear, you see this. I miss you x♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!

How I wished you're with me now.

I'm back to update this blog!

Chinese new year is still ongoing and I can see those angbaos are flying near near! But Deardear is flying far far le.. He's been busy with his shiguan all the way until he could forget his girlfriend. Sigh x1000000000000000. Damn that phone of his. Want spoil don't spoil, yet spoil at a time like this. Kns, stupid phone.

Talks about phone. I've returned my Galaxy S to my father. After all those mocks and insults you gave, I should've give a marvelous step on the phone and make sure it beautifully flys out of 8th floor. How I wished the phone is you, so I can magically throws you out of this house. But all I can do is to imagine.

Tomorrow, I'll be going to NUH again. I'll gonna be alone. Sigh.

In every single bits of your time, even before the day ends, am I the last person you would always think about?

Awaiting.

2011-01-19T16:03:00.004+08:00

Damn, I'm bored. Don't know where to meet Deardear at 3 or 4pm.
Been meeting Deardear like everyday. But I still miss him a lot :(

And now I'm absolutely confirm that I've phobia of taking the lifts alone... or even being alone. Zzz

Some recap.

2011-01-19T15:48:00.006+08:00

Taken on 14th January 2011.

Some long distance relative's Wedding dinner at Swissotel Merchant Court.

On 10th January.

I screwed my O's. As expected. I'm wasn't surprised by the marks that I have achieve. Just disappointed with my art. I'm just too lazy to did it better. Sigh. But I have planned to get a job and earn as much money as I can to retake 3 subjects.

Coming home.

2011-01-09T17:00:00.001+08:00

I hate being threatened and took the blame for you in everything when it's not my problem. Irresponsible father you are. All you think is money can buy everything. Disgusting.

In some sense, I'm happy for you.

2011-01-09T16:30:00.005+08:00

I miss you real a lot today..

Couldn't accompany you today for chu sai.. I know you really wanted me to go with you, but I can't. :< Credits to my father. Pua so much stunned. Irritates my life only.

Recently, had been going up to Deardear's house, ton and helped out painting his room.

What's coming is I'm gonna received my result on tomorrow. Looking relax on the outside but nervous inside. Haha, it's really over for me this time round. There won't be anymore luck like last year.

Yesterday, after lunch with Deardear, he had went xintua there to helped out. I went up to his house and accompany Liting to outside of Junbing's house, then went to Ikea. Waited minutes for Mingzhou and the rest. Went towards the counter that Mingzhou had directed me to, end up dint know is ww. LOLS. Rushed back to Deardear's house cause Deardear on phone asked me to faster faster come back, end up he still not home yet ._. He's a turtle when he came home!

We were hopeful, no reason to doubt.

2010-12-28T13:33:00.003+08:00

I've been in an utter state of confusion today. It's better for unkind words to be down on paper than to carry them around in my heart. When I thought back to our talk, it struck me as odd. What kind of desire do we actually hold on for? Just what is the best for both of us? I thought I did understand it. Thinking that nothing is as dear to me now as my boyfriend.. But now, I see it differently. I've been happy with you, and yet there was something so sad in my expression that the smile immediately faded from my lips. I'm always in the back of your mind, till yesterday I'd realized. I'm unable to see the changes you've made, cause I'm blinded by the past. In the past, I felt neglected by you. Now, I feel lack of being taken care. Trust was granted if its other people. But I can't endure the pain and hurt that had been once given. I just got the urge to leave.

I was thinking about you, thinking about her, thinking about us. What we gonna be?

2010-12-28T00:42:00.007+08:00

I swear now I can't take it. Whatever is breaking us up, it's happening. If being with me, you feel so suffering then what for drag on. One word from one of us, in a split second can solve everything, isn't it simple? What for make yourself so miserable while being with me? I feel that I'm lack being taken care of. Is like, where were you when I wanted to see you? Where were you when I needed you when I'm feeling insignificant and insecure? I just feel that you're taking everything for granted. I feel that we're just status. Your promised, your swear. All are just words with no sincerity.
Things are going on repeated again. If time can be the same, I rather not have such a day..

Screamin' that's nothin'

2010-12-27T12:37:00.007+08:00

I born to be so selfish and thoughtless I guess..

I don't want to say anything more to you. I'll start throw every unhappy thoughts in here. I want to clear my thoughts away.

All I've thought I was helping. Kept on try hard to give you the best I can give but never thought it will cause an insult to you and get such a remarks from you. I know you've never been greedy or demanding. I'm the one that's stressing myself, always put myself into the depth of paranoia.

Yesterday, was on mc. Went to find Deardear and we actually planned to go polyclinic but I forget that it's closed on Sunday. So went to sleep until night, we went Westmall to eat. Then I took mrt to Mingzhou's house. So happy that I made it and able to see all brothers at there, except Jared, who went home first :( Everyone go home already, only me stayed at Mz's to sleep till 3am and homed.

Today, went to buy mc, went to Woodlands polyclinic but don't know the nurse playing what lj at there. They kept on replay all those numbers that have been called out, whereas the whole registration area is been flooded with people. Zzx.. Super angry loh. I bused back to panjang private clinic, and after that I went get my haircut. I've changed my hair parting to left side and it doesn't have much different anyway. Everything I had spent today got less than my budget, so happy!

December.

2010-12-26T10:39:00.012+08:00

11 December. Happy 17th Birthday, Kay Ting Shiuan ♥

22th of August, Happy 4th Month Anniversary ♥

Dearest Dearest Boy, I love you.

♥

Unhurt, but a bit shaken.

2010-11-30T02:22:00.007+08:00

Credits to Raymond (Picture on the right.)

Today once I've reached Batok, amazingly I saw Daniel and Judith. First thing I asked Daniel is 'Eh, go up open the door for me leh.' Talktalked & slacked awhile with them > tabao lunch for Deardear > Judith's house > together went up to Deardear's house > NUH

Deardear today was cute can! Before we go nuh, he told me that he don't mind accompany me go nuh and see doctor. But when we reached outside of the clinic, he left me alone go in for registration and he waited outside 'cause he paiseh. But of cause afterwards, he came in and accompany me <: After that, deardear reached home and cooked dinner for me. Deardear right now at ph already and I'm at home! Paranoiding here ~

So much things about Deardear is making me worry. Just hope to receive a text from him once I wake up tomorrow.

I really wanted to go eat steamboat with Brothers and all :< sigh . But since I can't go, they can go enjoy having seafood.

Vexed.

2010-11-29T00:25:00.006+08:00

I finally upload pictures!

And is my fugly childish-looking face.

I got full of fats on my face, can you see that?

Credits to Haoran. & Zhong?

Damn, it's been a long while since my last post, like again.

Fml, I've been spending so much time on work. It makes me miss all my clique and close friends. Kinda afraid that all these brother-and-sisterhood will get drifted apart. Sigh. Haoran, Jared, Mingzhou, Joshua, Jinger, Gina, Janine, Pohchai, Audrey, Abner and Shena - MEETUP SOON !

Today was my last day doing bar. Gonna recuperate from all those cuts, burned and bruises from there. Tomorrow, I had requested off. I want to dye my hair. I want a haircut. I have to go NUH (like a finally.) for my appointment. I'll pray hard hard and hope I'll diedie get a good news and not bad news.

Deardear had stopped waiting for me for work and its been 2 days already. Sigh. He haven't die yet lah. That's what he always reply. Kanasai. Hope you really kena sai! Imissyou .

2010-11-20T01:01:00.003+08:00

Been working for 4 days continuosly with Wenxin <: today I went home with my manager, Chris right after work. Super exhausted, but I still want t update this freaking wordyyyyyy blog. Yes, it's gonna be full of words again. At my workplace, a lot people thought me and Wenxin are real blood sister :) been working at the bar with my trainer, lingling. While Wenxin doing as waitress. Adapting this working environment soon.
Moreover, what really makes me happy was that, Deardear actually came to fetch me from my workplace for the start of my 3 working days. Hoping that it is not a moment of sweetness from him. Though today was exceptional, he was tired and I actually brought something I've cooked for him yet I dint know that he's not coming. TSK. Slap him hard hard .

I still can remember that 15th event was kinda suck. But with the two girls I went with, was fun. Though, Shiming went home first, so me and Abby to Ben's house instead of Zhong's. At 5plus, cabbed down to Batok and cabbed home, then first day of work started without any sleep.

Seriously, I hate people who likes to jump into conclusion without getting their facts right. Assuming I make use of people, and rumours and rumours being spread around. I've always think that losers will does all these. Maybe i'm right. Pity you enough to say that you're pathetically childish. So what i'm the one and only witness for myself, but I know myself. Hate me for all I care. You, you and you are out of my world long ago.

Go ahead and say goodbye, I'll be alright, Go ahead and make me cry, I'll be alright.

2010-11-15T10:11:00.009+08:00

Maybe I shouldn't care about yesterday, it was totally... wtf. My mood was actually fine you know. Thanks to some Whores and Bitches. Maybe I should clap for you. *clapclapclaps. Yes, continue say whatever you like to anyone. Well appreciate it. :)

Okay, it was like a family outing yesterday. It is. Went to Church > Lakeside to collect my bag from Gina, and she left her trainee badge inside. How cute! > Grdma's house > Redhill for dinner > Home.

On the day before, went to Bugis to meet Nicholas, he kpkb me that I was late by... half an hour, only. Watched Megamind. Went to Suntec and meet Haoran. Then went to a restaurant at Sg flyer to find Hoiching and their friends :) Then went back to Suntec again, KFC > Mac > Home.

Tonight tonight! I'll be meeting Reiko later at Tiong <: Going to Powerhouse event later and I'll be giving the rest of the events a miss because of work.

But tomorrow am going to meet Wenxin 10am at febs and we're gonna have breakfast together! <:

I hope Haoran faster sends me all the photos before my blog gonna turn wordy again. I mean, it's already had turned wordy. OMG, HAOOOORANNN!!

2010-11-12T00:12:00.010+08:00

Managed to find time and wake up early to go cck. I don't like the doctor at there, so useless. I should have go Sengkang one. TSK.

Went town with Wenxin today. Finally we can go out together, just like those times back then ♥ Shopped as we gossip like usual. ( Opps )

And hurrayyyyy, I had found a job and I'll be working with Wenxin at Paragon on next week. Excited excited excited. Hee hee hee. And, and, and, Paragon is so near Jinger's workplace lah. :D Super happy can! After the interview, we had pastamania for dinner at Cine. I like a bag at Rockstar. That bag is so gonna be my target for this week.

Gone home first, for second-round dinner and off to Woodlands to slack with Jinger. We walked to cwp together and home for me.

I feel exhausted after the whole day.

Tomorrow, it's my last O'level paper - Science MCQ Paper. THIS CAN JUST THROW DICE LAH! Wish me luck!

In the mean time of O level period, I've done so many retarded things. LOL! Only Janine knows. Shhh..

如果重来是结束的开始、我相信我已经死了心。

2010-11-10T21:22:00.042+08:00

Everything you've done, makes a great impact in my life.

You're exceptionally important to me.

Yet you doesn't seems to see it because you don't appreciate it.

Love or is it just a habit of having you around? Dude, I know myself the best.

This pain of losing someone and being deceived by one's betrayal, won't be there if it isn't love.

Everything.

When you loves me.

When you misses me.

When you cares for me.

When you concerns for me.

When you were jealous.

When you were standing beside me.

When you hold me.

When you pampered my cheek.

When you kissed my forehead.

When you say I was something to you.

All in all, is just a two month plus show you had put on. All included words that doesn't tally and lies being hidden underground.

For this, it makes the best part of it in this relationship, isn't it?

And yes, I know I meant something to you too. Something.. that is a toy.

Like a WOW, I dint know that two-timing is a form of expressing the word - love.

I was only one of the pawns in your game.

Your love is so surrealistic.

If I assuming things, you won't be so heartless and gave such fucked up replies.

Sigh.

Each day as I misses you.

I'll convinced myself to forget it. I don't want to lie pathetically to myself anymore.

I wouldn't need to, if I hadn't fallen so deep in you..

Wake up from your idea, Silly Bitch.

Time is ticking. I can't wait forever if you hadn't reply..

I have to move on.

Memories shall be put aside.

I will live better in the future for myself.

2010-11-07T16:06:00.003+08:00

Meeting Raymond later or now @ LAN !

"It’s certainly tempting to duck or deny complicated matters yet that’s unlikely to make them go away. Instead, be a grown up and face whatever difficult personal concerns you have. This isn’t a time to be wearing your happy face and acting like everything’s perfect."

2010-11-06T13:43:00.017+08:00

I miss you.. a lot a lot.

Now that I'm gone, will you miss me like how I miss you now?

Guess that you hate me now.

Nothing will be the same anymore from that minute onwards. We both knows that.

Ain't getting used to living without you at all. Despite that it was all from others, I'd heard nothing from you ever since then. Knowing that the direction you're going isn't me anymore.

You'll definitely get over it very soon for sure.. Thus, I wish for the best for you.

2010-11-06T10:40:00.007+08:00

Yesterday, my whole face was totally gloomy and moody. But at least I felt better when I'm out. Watched 'Paranormal Activity 2' with Mingzhou and Haoran. Freaking scary, definitely 3 times better than that Last Exorcism. I'm gonna have the going-toilet-alone-phobia again LOL. I even had nightmare last night :( Alright, it's a fucking eerie dream I had. Right afterwards, we went to Mz's house, Jared and Yijie was already there. Joshua came after that.

2010-11-05T12:32:00.010+08:00

I used to think that one day we'd tell the story of us,

And how we met

And how the sparks flew instantly
And people would say they're the lucky ones

I used to know my place was the spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat
Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

Oh, a simple complication, Miscommunications lead to a fallout,
So many things that I wish you knew
So many walls up, I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Next chapter
How did we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy
And you're doing your best to avoid me
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here
But you held your pride like you should have held me,
Oh I'm scared to see the ending why are we pretending this is nothing
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you
Like it's killing me
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side

The battle's in your hands now
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love then fight

So many things you wish that I knew
But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
now, now, now

And we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me?

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, cause were going down.
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

[Taylor Swift : The Story Of Us]

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurts..

2010-11-05T11:15:00.008+08:00

Fucking fuck love. Nothing can describe this pain in my chest.

I am really not that type of girl that would like to share my guy with other girls. I'm fucking possessive type of girl can. If she can give you what you want exactly and you're fucking happy with it, go ahead and be with her. I got no comments. You're only making me feel more like the third party between the two of you.

My limit had already reaches the optimum point. I can't accept all the lies and truth anymore. I'm not strong.

The hurt is there. To the extent that I'll never going to make you mine again.

Don't look back on yesterday.

2010-11-04T13:51:00.004+08:00

Now at Abner didi's house . ~~Later going town to meet Wenxin sister. Like 541364561321years never meet her already.~~

Wenxin last minute couldn't meet up, so only me and Ah-ba-nah cabbed down to town and watched 'The Last Exorcism' together. - fucking lame. Just another typical twisted movie.

Had dinner at 313, although Abner say it's like tidbits to him. Lols. Abner forced me to accompany him to go bugis, just to meet Bingkun and friends :(

Awhile later, I went back to 313 to find Jinger. Accompanied her for dinner and eventually got this disgusting old ugly fellow keep looking at me. Serious! I'm not being bhb, it's true. Nnb, make me want to puke only.

Afterwards, Jinger went to find her boyfriend and I went home. Totally tio pangseh-ed by her lah! HAHAH .

2010-10-26T09:53:00.005+08:00

Let's back track to Friday! Because that's the day I can ton!

Then went home on Saturday.

Had BBQ > They dota > Carpark catching > Bathe > Sleep > Depot > Tiong - Slacked > Mz's house > They dota again and I watched Harry Potter (LOL)

More pictures@http://www.facebook.com/nauihsgnit

Sunday, went to find Deardear. Misses him so much so much can !

By way of exception.

2010-10-20T14:47:00.017+08:00

It's 20102010 today! - cool right? I find that this date look nicer than 10102010 can. Only silly people will find that 10102010 is nice! Laugh .

Completely have nowhere to go today. Watching Hai Pai Tian Xin right now. (very outdated, I know.) But Raninie Yang is damn chio can! I was suppose to be in school at 9am to collect my art O'level question for paper 2, but I'd overslept. Fml. But Janine already text me the questions, and had some ideas in my mind. ;) Die liao. Tomorrow is my O'level Science Practical. Wish me luck!

Yesterday, got woke up by Deardear's call. He told me to faster faster go Outram park, end up I reached first. Hrmph, kns! Deardear's officer is on mc, so we headed to Deardear's house which is filled with his friends. Then Deardear very cute loh, he straight away fell asleep right after I had gave him massage on his back :D He sleep very long like a pig can! Hees. At night, Deardear and one of his friend sent me to bus stop <: Haha, so many Deardear here, Deardear there.

By way of exception, I miss him. :(

On Monday, I gone to an unfamiliar place - Sengkang to find Jinger and we went to polyclinic. Before that, we had lunch together and shopped around Compass point. Aftermath, I went to Cine to meet Brothers for Kbox right after I'm done with my makeup. It's was funny that they actually go and hide my slipper away! Especially the part when Haoran and Mingzhou tried to tell me where my slipper is by giving those funny signals/eyes contact, which really makes me laugh so damn hard. LOL.

I fail to meet expectations. I know this, and every day I resolve to do better. He aren't consistent in his treatment of me. One day he say that Tingshiuan's a sensible girl and entitled to know everything, and the next that Tingshiuan's a child who doesn't know a thing and yet imagines she have learned everything. Hate to have you as my father. Fyi, I have my own ideas, plans and ideals, but am unable to articulate them yet.

Despite everything, I'll keep going, that I'll find my own way and choke back my tears. I only wish I could see some results.

Don't condemn me, but think of me as a person who sometimes reaches the bursting point. I had an occasional flash of understanding, but then got selfishly wrapped up again in my own problems and pleasures.

Words.

2010-10-11T17:26:00.008+08:00

Taken quite long ago.

OK, I blogging right now using JARED YEO's lappy <: because currently I'm at Mingzhou's house now, playing L4D2 (♥) . I'm really going sotplugz already. Jared keep calling me a siaozharbor. ): These few days got the feel to club... but got to wait after O's then can. Very long never get my ass back to school already, miss Janine and the rest. It's okay, I'll be seeing them real soon on 15 Oct!

Familiarity breeds contempt. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

2010-10-07T10:55:00.003+08:00

Weather like crap only. Fyck my rashes outbreaks.
Because of this I absent myself for days from school.

I did mention that I went out with Gina on my previous post? Yea, it was fun, ! After fareast, we gone to vivo and went to Tiong where Haoran and Joshua is. Had dinner with them. Gina was like keep on telling me @&!$#%?/*. Okay, it's a secret between us. Haha.

Had been meeting Jinger quite often, and Boyfriend too. <:
Really don't know what's up with me when meeting Jinger yesterday. Mood swing like anyhow only.

If it's love.

2010-10-01T11:19:00.009+08:00

Deep down in your heart, it's her. Not me.

Whatever is going through my mind right now, at any rate it's going to explode.

Unsettled emptiness still dwell within me when you're not around.

Shall not elaborate too much.

Ahem. I'm trying my best to go school as often as I can. Trying hard to absorb as much relevant subject notes as I can for O's. Because after 15 Oct, it'll be a holiday and would not need to go school. I should be overjoy, and yes, I can't wait for it. On 15 Oct, got Janine's Chalet/BBQ. (Y)

~~Tell you, I feeling damn excited now, because I'll be going to town with Jinger later. <:~~

Town with Jinger is cancelled ): But I'll be meeting my Clique instead for kbox. :)

Tomorrow, I'll be going to town again with Banana. Hahaha.

Scars are open.

2010-09-23T22:26:00.010+08:00

Within these few days, I've been asking myself.
Am I really satisfied with your assurance and explanation?
Is it my mistake or your delusional?
How to clear these weight of doubt when I doesn't even know where you are or what are you doing outside in the night right now?
Through this, how am I suppose to believe that you recuperating from yesterday fever?
Is that so hard to do what a basic-normal boyfriend would do?
Are we just status only?
Am I really being loved by you?

However, if I were to ask you 1000 questions like these, I will definitely receive the same expected answer from you.
Just by watching it, I doesn't mean anything to you. You're able to don't bother about me for more than one whole day. I'm just the one that's entertaining myself on the phone, dragging and wasting both our time.
In fact, you will rather choose to contact your friends more than me.
Everything, it makes me feel so insignificant in your heart.

2010-09-20T16:18:00.004+08:00

Should have know, I shouldn't have take things so seriously in the first place. What the fuck am I thinking? You're such a good liar. I tried to believe every word of your sweet story. But intuition keeps telling me, you're making a fool out of me. We're straight back to the same routine.

2010-09-20T15:15:00.004+08:00

Now that every time when I closed my eyes. I can see flashback of yesterday. I can feel that someone is squeezing my throat so tightly that I can hardly breathe, he was trying to kill me..

It's not for me to control.

2010-09-13T13:18:00.008+08:00

Didn't go school today, I'm so tired. Had been working full time straight in a row for 3 and a 1/2 days. Can't wait to get my pay at the end of the month!

Yesterday, went to Woodland with Jinger right after work and done with the closing. Met Weijie for awhile and bused to Causeway and home,

Thanks, Girlfrewn for being there when I'm having hard times. You never fail to be one of my top listening ear and giving all the concerns that you can, especially when I'm lost and don't know what to do. You're always there to cheer me up when I'm going to breakdown. Yesterday, you've brought back those laughter I had, it's been once in a ages long I had never laugh so hard and make so much noises on the bus with you. You really make my day. <:

2010-09-04T13:01:00.004+08:00

It seems like years since my last update. So much has happened it's as if the whole world had suddenly turned upside down. But you can see, I'm still alive, and i got myself a new hair cut! Its not exactly new anyway, just that it looks thicker and my fringe is shorter?

September holiday had started. It's really very stupid of me to forget such a wonderful week in life! I want to make good use of this holiday to finish up my preparatory work. Really need to take off my mind to study. Less a month more.. O'level, only makes me think why am I taking o'level?

The house is still trembling from the aftereffects of the quarrels I had with both my mother and sister. My mother is still mad me for skipping my maths prelim paper 2 yesterday. Am really experiencing a terrible atmosphere at home now. Though I'm really glad that Dad still entertain me, though it's quite annoying.. Is it just a coincidence that Mother never scold sister and always blame me for everything? Mother doesn't realize that she treats sister differently than she does me. Of course, Mother took sister's side, they always take each other's sides. I'm so used to it that I've become completely indifferent to Mother's rebukes and sister's attitude. I love them, but only because they are my family. I don't give a damn about them as people. As far as I'm concerned, they can go jump in a lake. I can't very confront her carelessness, her sarcasm and her hardheartedness, yet I can't continue to take the blame for everything.

Really hate to remain silent and aloof, and I don't intend to shrink from the truth, because the longer it's postponed, the harder it will be for them to accept it when they do hear it.

Boyfriend is sleeping now. He sleep also never tell me.

Will be going National library and study with Haoran and Jared. <:

2010-08-30T21:54:00.015+08:00

"I stare at my reflection in the mirror, why am I doing this to myself.

Losing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf.

No, no, no, no. To lose it all, in the blur of the start.

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing.

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising.

Just be true to who you are."

Something is impossible to ignore. Your words proved something even without explanation. I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like. You said things, did things that you didn't mean. And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine.

These are hardest times, love’s so hard to find.

2010-08-26T20:25:00.012+08:00

Managed to wake up for school today. After so many hours of unsettled feeling, I realized it will only make me feel tired.. I even went down to Woodland for awhile to find Jinger last night and cabbed back home. Sometimes, I was even thinking, what's wrong to be outside at midnight? It's not like the house got legs that can run or I would runaway from home. It's so ridiculous.

Come to think about it, I think my goal to Nafa is hopeless. All because now I couldn't concentrate in class la! Skipped too much lessons already.

In maths lesson, Mr Kenneth Lim actually teased me, "Tingshiuan, I hope that you'll find a rich guy to married and you will live happily ever after without any stress for your future." LOL. Stayed in school for awhile to give Miss Tan a birthday surprise together with classmates. Okay, enough about school.

Janine took the same bus home with me and I went to meet Jinger at Woodland! Slacked while waiting for Weijie. Then took bus with Weijie and I went home.

I'm really grateful for those who accompanied me at that point where I'd felt so depressing yesterday. <:

Dearest, I miss you.

A moment of trust.

2010-08-25T12:52:00.006+08:00

Yesterday went to meet Jinger at polyclinic. After that we slacked awhile and went off to Boyfriend's house.
First thing in the morning when I'm already so paranoid.. Later to going to buy mc and going to meet Jason @Tiong, he's going to slap and kick me..
Tonight I'm maybe going to meet Jinger.

I was so sure that I've trust you..
I tried to be a little optimistic.
But it is likely that she still stand a place in your heart.
And I don't.
Perhap I'm just the extra one..

2010-08-22T00:10:00.005+08:00

You all will never understand how it feels like to be the middle person.

Especially, when they doesn't try to listen when explanation are being made.

Past, present and yet-to-come.

2010-08-21T10:46:00.008+08:00

Can you believe it? I actually ran out of words yesterday while taking the O'level English oral. FUCK IT. Before oral and after school, went to have lunch at redhillmarket with Janine and Rvd :) After oral, I 've gone to accompany Xinlin to panjang for her haircut and went home straight to bathe. Went to Woodland and meet up with Jinger! and then Weijie came over for awhile. Slacked/walked around Causeway and we went our separate ways. <: SHODAMNTIRING!

Mostly importantly, I got back my O'level Chinese result and I didn't do well for it. >: Yesterday also just signed up to retake - Alarlar, thanks Jerry for informed me about it. Haha. Some part of me was thinking to give up. I can't cope with any of the subject well. Blame my laziness please, and I know everyone has been blaming it.

Okay, I'll edit this with picture of me later~

Edited -

Went to Batok to meet Edwind. I fall asleep halfway while waiting for him to wake up from his sleep, tsktsktsk x1000000000000000! After the long waiting, we went to watched Step up 3 @Westmall. Haoran called me up today for movie with the rest, I immediately say no to Aftershock. Because I watched half of that movie before with Nick and it was not that interesting like how the movie title were.

Please don't say anything.

2010-08-14T11:41:00.005+08:00

I really can't understand why I can't get up and go to school like what a normal nerd would do. What's so hard about it? Tsktsk.

Thursday, went to Haoran's competition. Haha, it wasn't that bad as I thought, rather entertaining(Y). Have dinner @mac with Haoran, Mingzhou, Weeleong, Juanki and friend. <:

Friday, didn't turned up for school again. I was really very tired. :/

Today, I'am not going out! I've decided to rot at homeeeee.

2010-08-09T12:08:00.004+08:00

Yesterday evening, meet up with Clique at Tiong to slacked and we had dinner, > Tiong park > Home. <: Okay, it's decided. Today, I want to..

finish AT LEAST four pages of my art prepwork.
finished up my Maths revision set 6 (?).
do some Biology revision.
a good afternoon nap. (Y) x10000000

Still got 15 more days to go to get my allowance and 21 more days to get my pay from last month. Fml. But, haha, it's National day and I'm planning to study at home.

2010-08-08T14:07:00.006+08:00

Bored. Should I go out today?

The weather is fucking hot. It'll be better if the sky can pour down some rain on panjang area, oh-pretty please~

Yesterday, I've went to town with Bingzhong. He was LATE. We gone to Cine, then to Cathay and watched Pck movie, haha.

Friday, went to Farest with Jinger! I don't have much to shop around, partially because I'm broke. >: At least I bought a top *happy. Jiaping, Leslie and a girl came to find us @Fareast, and we trained back to Woodland. Meet up with their friend, Kenneth then slacked and played cards till 8plus then took bus with Jp to panjang. :) Haha, we were sharing jokes with one another on the bus because we got nothing to talk about on the bus.

I guess, I'm only one that can see the difference between us.

2010-08-08T12:32:00.006+08:00

We are more like a mere stranger.

This friendships had really drifted too far that there's nothing I can do about it.

I have kept quiet about it, trying not to be selfish.

Yet, you're still clueless about everything.

Marked my words.

2010-08-04T21:11:00.004+08:00

Once you've stepped out of my life, don't ever bother to come back.

Human make use of one another.

I believe me, you and everyone does the same too.
But you are taking things for granted.

2010-08-01T10:25:00.004+08:00

Let's back track,

Last week Saturday, I went out with Weijie, Pohchai and Audrey. Played pool and they left me and Weijie. So together we went to watch Blood pledge @Cine. The sound effect was very disturbing. Lol.

Sunday, woke up early morning 4 to prepare and cabbed down to Bedok for work. We end work at 10 plus? Had breakfast at mac and we cabbed down to E-hub for movies The sorcerer's apprentice. (Y) He took train home and I stopped at Tiong to meet Haoran, Jared and Mingzhou for movie again. - Inception. After the movie, we all went home. <:

I rotted at home the whole day, so there nothing to elaborate. :/

Today, maybe I'll be going out later.

Some dreams are better to be left as dream.

2010-07-20T20:56:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging right now when I suppose to finish up those homework, which are all in one pile. Benjamin lah, keep kaopei me to update my blog. OPPS :x

Shall post about today. I didn't attend school in the morning but I did went for my O's chinese listening comprehension. - Thanks Xinlin and Yongming for the early morning reminders. <: Quickly rushed down to school before the clock went strike on 2pm but I managed to reached 30minutes early in school. Everything is back to normal except...for one or maybe two. After the listening compre, I went to see doctor, Benjamin came to accompany me. The whole time, I have been pinching him to shut his mouth. :x After that, he cabbed me home because he's going panjang too. - Thanks, lol. :)

You never know how much time you'll have.

2010-07-07T18:39:00.013+08:00

Today, I was on the way back home. A Aunty suddenly spoke to me on the bus. She questioned me a lot. Last question she asked me was whether I'm sec one this year and I replied, 'Sec 5'. And we goes, 'HAHAHAHA...' ._.

Ohya, now then I remember. I've changed my blogskin, and it was days ago. Reason was that half of my blogskin url was gone. Which mean everyone's links was GONE! Not only that, I even deleted my boring dead tagboard that everyone misses it. Haha.

Monday it was Youth day! I was kinda busy that day. Woke up quite early to accompany Wenxin for her haircut. After that, I went home to change > together we to causeway and took train but we dropped off at different station. I stopped @amk to meet Ernest, Boonchuan and Junyi. Played pool, then catched the movie - Twilight Eclipse, the movie duration was damn long but I like!

I told myself that it's doesn't matter to me whether we've known one another for 3, 4 or 5 years. But those are numbers, you once told me before. Humans do change. Human lost trust on one another easily. But why is that's so? I couldn't bear that we have been like this for more than 6 months..

2010-07-07T18:38:00.000+08:00

I fucking despised you.
Reason? I don't know why too..

2010-07-03T01:07:00.005+08:00

I don't want to elaborate about much. Because I'm feeling sleepy yet I'm having headache at the same time. ):
Afternoon, went to find Jinger and Wendy > Wendy's house, to use toilet, lol. At 5pm, me and Jinger left Wendy's house and headed to Causeway - Inter, from there she take bus to Tampines and I bus-ed back home.

2010-06-28T15:22:00.003+08:00

First day of school and the start of the second semester. As I was saying, while I was on the way to school, I got this awkward feel that I was wearing a wrong set of school uniform. LOL. But anyway, I was late for school by a few minutes. I slowly take my time and walked back to class while the whole school is singing the national anthem, followed by pledge, blah blah and school song. I was hoping that the teachers will on the air-con for us in class but end up never. Tsk! Moreover, I can't believe I'm one of those that need counseling by the school? It doesn't mean I really got depression or I've really gone insane alright. It's because of the recent family problem I had.
After school, was supposed and wanted to go out and have lunch with Kelvin, but he want to go for the chinese oral. But he promised me tomorrow we'll gonna have lormee. :D So, I went to find Pohchai adn his girlfriend, Audrey instead. Now I'm all alone at his house, waiting for the two love birds to buy lunch for me. Hahaha (Y). I'm feeling kinda and super hungry naoz!
Ah ha! Later I'll be meeting Jinger, quite long never meet this dear friend of mine. <:

I’ll chew you to pieces then spit you out.

2010-06-27T11:41:00.010+08:00

I'm all alone at home now, waiting to get out of the house later. I WANT BREAKFAST!
You know what? I hate to be alone now. But right now I'm blasting Tearies's new mixtape(Y)! I couldn't sleep well last night too, it's like so.. argh!
Talked about last night. Yesterday night, took cab down to Holland. Slacked with the same bunch of people. Talk about those blahblahhs wannabe. Haha.

I appreciate people around me who cheered me up. Especially those that actually took the effort to message me. Most importantly, is the two guys around me, Haoran and Jared, who so steady to meet up at times like this. Thanks! ♥

School is starting soon on tomorrow. Times flys way too fast already! I haven't even touch my holiday homework yet and I don't feel so enthusiasm to finish it up too. Feeling quite reluctant to go school.

2010-06-26T19:25:00.001+08:00

It wasn't easy for the both of us to last until one month and one week and one day together, isn't it?
The times when you're serving ns is like a test for us. We were not be able to meet as frequently as we want for the pass three weeks. Yes, many dissatisfaction and fear between us. I didn't do my part as a girlfriend to you.
Thanks for being so sweet to me all the time. Treating me like one fragile vase, afraid that I may fall down and cracked anytime. You make everything like a fairytale to me and I was so naive to believe in it again.
I wished for the best in life for you.
I won't regret and so do you.
I hope, one day, if we meet again. We will start to say hi to one another. :)

Tragic but timely.

2010-06-26T18:13:00.001+08:00

"You used to water other plant and try out which plant can last and keep.
But now if it's really over, no point water it and keep it forever."

Quoted by: Shihao.
Thanks for cheering me up, big guy.